Julia Milner : “Change is complex, but it also comes with a great deal of freedom. It’s a beautiful journey”

Julia Milner is a Professor at EDHEC. Her research spans topics ranging from micromanagement and feedback to the role of emotions in the workplace. Her new book, Habit Maker: Build Good Ones, Quit Bad Ones, and Thrive in Between (1) will be published in 2027. It explores the power of habits in shaping everyday life. For EDHEC Vox, she reflects on the key milestones in a career devoted to understanding and teaching leadership.

Habits are the focus of your latest book. Why are they so important?

Julia Milner: The subject is fundamental and goes well beyond work because habits are the fabric of our lives. I became interested in the question when I started my fourth master’s degree while working full-time, raising my children and managing multiple projects. I usually work by using myself as a kind of test case for my own research, so I immersed myself in the scientific literature on habits to get the right routines set up and balance my workload. What struck me was that most books on habits seem to be written for a perfect world in where everything works beautifully. My life is wonderful, but it certainly is not perfect. I wanted to write a book for real life (2), with all its unpredictability, stumbles and complex cycles. It is written for busy people who want to use the power of habits to bring more order to their lives. 

It starts with learning how to quit. The book also draws lessons from the behavior of inspiring leaders and think about ideas like refocusing, normalizing the act of starting over, and redefining mistakes. These are essential topics if we want habits to be rooted in real life rather than in idealized versions of it. And none of this happens without self-compassion and self-care.

You say there is a gap between wanting to change and actually changing. Why is that gap so hard to close?

Julia Milner: Change is scary. It is uncomfortable, and it forces us into unfamiliar territory. The first challenge is to recognize that motivation alone will never be enough to create lasting transformation. Beyond that, it is crucial to focus on what we can control. You can wait for your company to roll out a well-being programme, for example, or you can take the initiative and start building your own routines. Habits also tend to fail when they rely on off-the-shelf formulas. I often take calls while walking, for example. It is a small thing, but it works very well for me.

I may draw on neuroscience, scientific research and new ideas, but in the end that habit was something I discovered for myself, and a habit must always be designed for a specific individual. That is also why the manager-as-coach approach I develop in my research (3) is so effective: instead of giving answers, the coach helps people become more independent.

What inspired the book?

Julia Milner: I drew on examples from contemporary public figures. Simone Biles comes to mind, for instance. She gave up her chances of winning an Olympic medal in order to protect her mental health. I also think of Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella, who has openly said that he should share more of his mistakes, and that he is working on it. These are people who challenge the idea of perfection. They embrace trial and error, create feedback loops, and keep their focus on the path ahead.

You write that building effective habits means focusing on the “why” and the “how.” Is that also a way of bringing the issue of finding meaning at work into the conversation?

Julia Milner: Absolutely. Focusing on the “why” means focusing on values, on what drives us. For many executives, moments of crisis are linked to a clash of values. Building effective habits works in much the same way. Take a simple example: if you want to exercise more, it may be risky to do so by taking time away from your children. You may quickly feel a lack of alignment which will make the habit difficult to sustain. You may need to do that activity while your children are asleep, or include them in it.

Alignment with your values is an essential starting point if you want new routines to stick. That said, while I like the idea of finding meaning in work, we should not pretend that work can be extraordinary and fulfilling every single day. We also work to make a living.

How does this book fit into your academic journey (4)?

Julia Milner: It is a continuation of the work I’ve been doing for more than Twenty years. My broader approach is all about empowering people. In my research, for example, I show that giving advice, even with the best intentions, is often counterproductive because it prevents employees from finding their own answers.

I have also worked extensively on micromanagement (5), which remains a major red flag in the workplace. Even when it is well-intentioned, micromanagement creates a subtle but damaging form of dependency. What I advocate instead is an approach to coaching built around nine core skills that leaders need to develop: listening, questioning, feedback, goal setting, a solution-focused approach, working withvalues and strengths, structuring the conversation, helping people find their own answers, and empathy. This book brings that same body of work down to the individual level, and to what each of us can do with our own habits.

You strongly emphasize empathy (3) and emotions more broadly. What role should they have in the workplace?

Julia Milner: We experience emotions at work too. But many managers are afraid of showing them because they fear they will be seen as weak. Others worry that if they show empathy, they will be met with more emotional outbursts. We have become used to suppressing emotions. I think that is a mistake. This is not about turning the workplace into therapy, or falling into what the South African psychologist Susan David has described as toxic positivity. But empathy remains a core skill for any good manager. In a recent study on the role of empathy in ethical leadership (6), for example, I show that the ability to form an emotional connection fosters both a sense of responsibility and job satisfaction.

You have worked extensively on feedback, especially two way feedback. What does good feedback look like in practice?

Julia Milner: The American coach Marshall Goldsmith coined the term feedforward. It’s a concept I use a great deal. His point is that even feedback should be future-oriented and focused on what can still be influenced. I do believe we need to let go of our fear of feedback, and our fear of hurting people (7). We need to normalize these conversations, and we should not hesitate to celebrate what is working, by giving compliments for instance, rather than focusing only on what is not working. That requires a real shift in mindset, and we are not there yet.

Your approach is focused on individuals. What does that mean in practice?

Julia Milner: Once again, I encourage people to focus on what lies within their circle of control. You probably cannot change your organization’s entire culture, and that is probably not your role. Simon Sinek speaks about circles that help distinguish what you can do on your own, what you can influence, and what lies beyond your control. You can decide to be polite. You can choose to say thank you. Then there is your circle of influence, the issues you can raise and the questions you can invite others to think about. And finally, there is what lies outside your control and we can reflect here where we want to spend our energy. 

This does not mean that we should accept bad environments or cannot make a change, act as role-models etc., yet sometimes it is helpful to align the energy you invest.

What do you see as the main risks and opportunities associated with emerging technologies, notably AI, when it comes to management?

Julia Milner: AI is a remarkable tool, and it can simplify many processes. I hope it will free up time for leaders and employees alike so that they can invest more in what matters most: the human side of work. As for the risks, one of the main ones lies in the way we speak to AI, often impatiently, in ways we would never use with another human being. 

Many skills are developed through interaction with others. If too much of that interaction is outsourced to technology, we will miss opportunities to cultivate those skills. There is something deeply valuable about going through your own thought process. There is something beautiful about it, and we need to make sure we do not outsource it entirely.

A final word?

Julia Milner: Be kind, including to yourself. Believe in yourself. You do not have to do things perfectly. You just need to get started.

References

(1) Habit Maker: Build Good Ones, Quit Bad Ones, and Thrive in Between (2027), Julia Milner. Greenleaf Book Group - https://books.google.fr/books/about/Habit_Maker.html?id=G8540QEACAAJ

(2) 4 questions to Julia Milner around the power of habits, January 2026 - EDHEC Vox - https://www.edhec.edu/en/research-and-faculty/edhec-vox/4-questions-to-julia-milner-around-the-power-of-habits

(3) Julia Milner : "Empowering others by listening and asking them questions is always a good thing, even if the temptation is to bring ready-to-use answers", April 2024 - EDHEC Vox - https://www.edhec.edu/en/research-and-faculty/edhec-vox/julia-milner-empowering-others-listening-asking-questions-always-good-not-bring-ready-to-use-answers

(4) Meet Julia Milner, the Leadership Professor who practices what she teaches, May 2026 - EDHEC Vox - https://www.edhec.edu/en/research-and-faculty/edhec-vox/meet-julia-milner-leadership-professor-who-practices-what-she-teaches

(5) 3 méthodes pour échapper au micro-management, avril 2026 - Harvard Business Review France - https://www.hbrfrance.fr/leadership/3-etapes-essentielles-pour-sortir-du-micro-management-60472

(6) Nakamura YT, Milner J, Yu D, Hinshaw J. The Role of Empathy in Leadership Ethics: Examining Empathic Relational Leadership Practice through Video-Based Methods. Business Ethics Quarterly. 2026;36(1):112-149 - https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/business-ethics-quarterly/article/abs/role-of-empathy-in-leadership-ethics-examining-empathic-relational-leadership-practice-through-videobased-methods/306215B36DE1325557D459BE781001C9

(7) From cringe to constructive: A guide to giving feedback that sticks, April 2024 - EDHEC Vox - https://www.edhec.edu/en/research-and-faculty/edhec-vox/from-cringe-to-constructive-a-guide-to-giving-feedback-that-sticks